Your absence was all over the damn city. Overlooking at the harbour, the clouds were coming and going in an unstoppable yet unpredictable way. The skyline was coloured with the colours of your soul: royal blue, light purple, dark orange, golden yellow: the first sunset of autumn was here and it found me helpless towards your overwhelming existence. You were like a hurricane, an uncontrollable turmoil that entered my calm, dare to say simple life and magically turned everything into stardust instead of dust. Your presence was immense: I couldn’t breathe away from you, because you were my oxygen, and in the same time I couldn’t breathe next to you, because you consumed all the oxygen of the space and you turned it into immeasurably deep feelings. What I was considering as love had changed its meaning – a notion so hard to describe had started to transform into you, to steal your shape, your colours, your movements. What I believed to be magic had covered my everyday routine, showering me with joy and laughs, passion and dreams, till it reached the deepest layers of my skin and found its way to my heart.
Therefore the first days of autumn had brought an incredible gap into my skies: you were not around, yet all the city was conquered by you. The graffiti on the walls were all made for you. The city’s noises were turning into songs for you. The smell of the street food, the boats at the seafront, the flowers at the balconies, the music of the nearby bars, everything had your name on it. I wouldn’t be honest if I’d say that I didn’t miss you. I did, every damn second. The time spent together in the streets of the city that I once considered as my fortress, had turned it into our fortress. We were safe here, untouched from evil, the rain couldn’t reach us – remember I was always carrying an umbrella? – and we searched together every inch of the city, in order to make it ours. We actually did it and we started blooming here together like the first sunflowers of the summer. Just like sunflowers we were looking to the sun because sun was where we wanted to go. Summer found us together and definitely not afraid of being burnt. That is when we started our journey towards a better life, a journey to the biggest and brightest planet throughout the whole universe: the sun itself.
Our journey, long and full of adventures, required leaving back our city. With tired eyes, a night in the heart of August we said goodbye to its streets together, our streets. The haze of the night was covering us and deep inside us we knew that the ownership of these streets wouldn’t change, no matter where the owners were. And oh well, here I am, falling like the first leaves of autumn in the very first autumn storm. Yes, the very famous storms of autumn were about to begin and for the very first time I had to face them on my own. I had to walk in the rain on my own, without you by my side. I had to open the umbrella just for me this time. In all this new, autumn scenery, I had started to build a stronger ego. I was becoming a fighter, a dreamer, a self-starter, but most of all I was becoming a leader. I was leading my own self to become its very best, in order to be ready to reach the final destination, the sun, where you were already.
In the end it is neither your presence nor your absence that conquered the city – it was the invisible yet invincible “us” that marked every street just by us passing through it. Now I am unable to mark any street alone, I need you close to me for that. Together, we can turn every city into our city. We can create new memories and spread them throughout squares, parks, streets, terraces, rivers. Well, my dear, it is 3am and yes, I am keeping my sword up trying to fight nostalgia and all I wanted to tell you is that no matter where you are, no matter where I walk and where you walk, I do see every day a shiny, brand new you and I love it every second of the day. You shine and I miss you, damn it, cause I would love to shine next to you. For now, all I can promise you is that until the day that I will finally meet you again, I will have become the best of me. And I will be very glad if you’d like to share an umbrella with me again.
You know, just like old times. Our times.
I need something, give me something wonderful